MAGGIE and ROBERT are in a heated discussion and exchange words. Robert is throwing his hands about, clearly angry.
ROBERT
This promotion will help!
MAGGIE
How can a promotion fix a broken marriage?
ROBERT
No more money worries!
MAGGIE
Honestly Robert, when were we ever that worried about finances?
ROBERT
Auuuuu all the time!?
MAGGIE
Yeah, but we never fought about it. It was never a crutch in our marriage.
ROBERT
(sighs)
How long do you want to separate?
MAGGIE
I don't know. We'll have to try it out and see.
ROBERT
Try it out? Our marriage isn't a new exercise machine! You can't return it if it doesn't work for you!
MAGGIE
No, you can't return it, but you can end it. I need happiness Robert! I can't remember the last time I felt happy!
ROBERT
That's cool. I'm outta here.
The phone begins to ring.
Robert grabs his keys.
MAGGIE
You don't have to leave tonight!
ROBERT
Awwww. You gonna allow me to sleep on the couch? I think not!
Robert quickly walks to the front door and opens it. He looks back at Maggie.
MAGGIE
Where are you going?
Robert exits the house.
A man BREWSTER slides out from under the sheets and quickly slides on his underwear as Maggie throws on some clothes as well.
BREWSTER
He has to know I'm here.
They rise from the bed, looking for the rest of their clothes.
The door flies back open. It is Robert.
ROBERT
Fucking liar!
MAGGIE
I can explain.
ROBERT
That infamous line. Why do people say that when they are caught in the act? Let me explain. Let me explain. Your pussy was itchin for some strange. That is the only explanation I want to hear! Who is this loser?
BREWSTER
You don't recognize me Robert?
ROBERT
What?
MAGGIE
You know each other?
ROBERT
I don't know him!
BREWSTER
What if I turn around and dropped my pants and bent over. Do you think you would recognize me then?
ROBERT
What are you talking about?
MAGGIE
I don't understand.
BREWSTER
(to Maggie)
Your husband's fucking me. You don't recognize me out of drag, do you Robert?
ROBERT
No fucking way!
MAGGIE
Talk to me somebody!
BREWSTER
My drag name is Marilyn. Your husband picked me up at a gay bar. We've been fucking for months.
Maggie walks over to Brewster and slaps him in the face.
MAGGIE
How dare you!
ROBERT
I'm not gay. It's a fetish.
MAGGIE
You fucked a guy. That is as gay as gay can be! I don't believe this!
ROBERT
You fucked a woman. That's not gay!?
MAGGIE
He has a dick! Which is more than I can say for you!
Maggie storms out of the room.
Robert approaches Brewster, who backs away.
ROBERT
I ought to kick your ass! Why did you do this?
BREWSTER
You were fucking with me the entire time Robert. You never loved me!
ROBERT
No shit!